my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
