WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
