I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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