Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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