You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
