jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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