Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
