God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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