i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
