mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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