We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
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Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
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This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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