don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
