Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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