That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize