my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
