Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
