Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
