Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
