It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Is it because I queefed?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
