i permit you to call me
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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