I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
