Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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