pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
her vagine was all disorganized.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
