Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
