She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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