Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
