you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
