My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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