My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize