i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
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IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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