ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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