My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
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we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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