Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize