he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
