someone threw a dead crab at me
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she woke up with a sticky ear
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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