in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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