I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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