I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You were trust falling into bushes
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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