I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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