You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
