Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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