Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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