Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
