ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
