i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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