Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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