omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
