wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
