And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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