oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
