Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
