So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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