i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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