Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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